Did You Ever?

This past weekend, one of my close girlfriends asked me if when I was single, "Did I wonder why everyone else seemed to be happily in love while you are not? Did I wonder where all the good ones are? Did it seem that everywhere I looked, I ran across people who are not a fit for me and that many of our friends appear to be having the same problem? Did I wonder why I could not get to the second date or, at times, even to the first date? Did I wonder why I can’t seem to keep a relationship? Did I keep trying to figure out how to be better, different or more attractive, so that I could finally be in a relationship? Well, I asked her, "Have you given up on having a loving relationship in your life altogether?

This great dilemma of why you are still single after everything you have tried to do to get into a relationship baffles and bothers most singles. If only meeting more eligible people provided a solution to finding the right mate, what you have already done to meet new people would have worked. If the solution amounted to reading self-help books and learning more about yourself, then the self-learning you have already done would have helped you to attract a mate. If the solution meant talking about and processing your past in therapy, then, for those of you who have done therapy, it would have already helped you. And, if giving up on love altogether really worked, you would be happy alone, not bothered by the lack of a loving partner.

My answer to her was No, Not at all.